IVF Support for Men: How to Cope During Treatment

Going through IVF as a partner is tough. You might feel like you’ve got to stay strong, hold everything together, and support your other half without letting things get to you.

But let’s be honest — this process can be a lot. Even if you're not the one having the injections or procedures, you're still in it. You're dealing with the stress, the waiting, the worry, and the pressure.

This blog is for you. If you’re feeling overlooked, out of your depth, or just not sure how to handle it all, here are a few ways to cope — physically and emotionally.

1. Acknowledge That It's Hard

You might not be the one doing the injections or lying on the ultrasound table, but that doesn’t mean you’re unaffected. The emotional toll — the stress, the pressure to stay positive, the helplessness — it all adds up.

You might feel:

• Angry at how unfair this all is
• Helpless watching your partner go through it
• Guilty for not being able to “fix” things
• Frustrated at the lack of control
• Jealous of others who’ve had it easier

These are all normal reactions. Pretending you’re fine when you’re not doesn’t help anyone — especially you. Admitting it’s hard is not weakness. It’s honesty, and it’s a crucial first step in looking after yourself through this.

2. Talk to Someone You Trust

A lot of men keep things bottled up because they think they have to be the “strong one.” But carrying that load on your own gets heavy — fast.

You don’t need to have a deep, emotional chat if that’s not your style. Even just saying something like, “This is harder than I thought it would be,” can break the tension.

Consider:

• Talking to your partner — they may be feeling the same way and it can bring you closer
• Chatting to a friend who’s been through something similar
• Speaking to a counsellor who understands fertility treatment
• Joining a private online group where you can read or share when you’re ready

You don’t have to have all the answers. Just being honest is enough.

3. Look After Yourself Too

You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re constantly putting your own wellbeing last, it’s going to catch up with you. And the better you feel, the more solid support you’ll be able to give your partner.

Simple things that make a real difference:

• Get some fresh air — even a short walk can help clear your head
• Eat regularly — stress often messes with appetite, but your body needs fuel
• Sleep — easier said than done, but try to prioritise rest where you can
• Cut back on unhealthy coping tools — alcohol, smoking/vaping, scrolling late into the night, etc.

Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and meditation. It’s doing the basics — because this process is a marathon, not a sprint.

4. Get Involved Where You Can

A lot of male partners say they feel like a spare part in the IVF process. It’s frustrating to sit through appointments where no one looks at you, let alone speaks to you — especially when you’re just as emotionally invested.

But there are ways to get more involved:

• Ask questions at appointments — show the doctor you’re engaged
• Help with the practical side — calendars, medication timings, making sure your partner’s eaten
• Talk through decisions together — embryo numbers, transfers, next steps
• Let your partner know how you’re feeling too — it doesn’t always have to be about solutions

You might not be the one in the stirrups, but you are in this. Don’t let the system make you feel like you’re just there for the lift.

5. Remember — You’re Not Alone

Even if no one’s saying it out loud, lots of men feel exactly like you do. The IVF world is still catching up when it comes to supporting male partners — but things are changing.

There are growing numbers of forums, social media groups, and male-focused support networks where you can listen, share, or just feel a bit less alone.

Also, just knowing you’re not the only one feeling like this — the stress, the fear, the pressure — can make a big difference.

Final Thoughts

IVF is hard. It’s okay to admit that.

You’re doing your best in a situation that can feel completely out of your control. That takes strength — even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

If you’re supporting your partner through treatment, please remember: you matter too. Your mental and physical health matters. You’re not a spare part — you’re part of the team.

And if you need someone to talk to, or want to connect with other men who’ve been through this, don’t hesitate to reach out. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own.