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In this latest conversation in my ‘Taking Control’ series, I’m joined by the lovely Julianne Boutaleb, Consultant Perinatal Psychologist and Director of Parenthood in Mind, to talk about the emotional impact of infertility and fertility treatment, and the things we can do to protect our mental wellbeing along the way.
We talk about how infertility can completely disrupt the future we imagined for ourselves, affecting our identity, relationships, work and sense of control. Julianne explains why our emotions can feel so intense, the impact of reproductive trauma and hyper-vigilance, and why having our feelings acknowledged and validated can make such a difference.
We also share some really practical ways to cope, including how to regain a sense of control through small choices, grounding techniques to use when appointments feel overwhelming, and simple strategies to help calm the brain's threat response. We talk about supporting partners too, and why making time for your relationship and having moments where fertility isn't the focus can be so important.
If you're finding your fertility journey emotionally difficult, this is a conversation full of understanding, reassurance and practical tools to help you feel a little more supported and a little less alone.
The reality is that, sadly, more IVF cycles end without a pregnancy than result in one. That doesn't make receiving a negative result any easier, particularly when you've spent weeks or months building up to that moment and allowing yourself to imagine what life might look like if it worked.
When you first start IVF, you imagine it’ll be full of hope and a team of people helping you move closer to your dream of having a baby. And while that’s true, what most people don’t talk about is how IVF can slowly chip away at your sense of dignity.
Somewhere around October, that little voice can start getting louder.Could we still fit IVF in before Christmas?Maybe you’ve had that date in your head for months. Maybe you’ve been quietly hoping that by Christmas things will finally feel different.